Change

It is the end of another semester. And there are so many things that I have been wanting to post, but haven’t gotten the chance. (or a maybe just not developed a discipline like some people I know… ) Well,  here are my thoughts on a very familiar topic lately :  Change

• Change is not easy: normally painful, humbling, and reawakening of my need for God
• Change is a fact of life – Like growing old.
• Change is realizing your older, and birthday’s don’t excite you as much. And instead of remembering your exact age, it would be easier to say you’re a “twenty-something” ?
• Change is a mark of Campus Ministry
• Change is something I’m getting use to… because as they say during this time of life you are always in  ‘transition’. But it seems to me that transition is a part of every stage, just like change.

Our ministry is going through a lot change for next semester. Jason & Mandi Barbieri, the step-in directors for  this past fall semester,  finished with SIT and are awaiting the next step. Robin, my two year wing-woman, housemate and teammate will be taking a job in Pittsburgh, PA and being a witness for Him there (she’s so made for it! ;).

So next year, my staff team will drastically change.

One of the main things I’ve been having to realize is that every staff is a gift. Not a right, not forever, and never a must. But lately  God has been reminding me of Psalm 126:3  and its good to remember that it is the LORD that has done great things for us, and because He has, we are filled with JOY.

Jason, Mandi, and especially Robin — You guys are ‘great things’ in my life and each of you have left a permanent mark. And because of what He’s done and still doing in your lives I can be  filled with JOY! 🙂

Sweet

A friend and I were talking recently and this topic came up. So instead of the list of facebook’s 25 things… here is a simple list of some things that I personally think of to be “sweet” and have been true about my life lately.

1. Gummy sweets – Swedish fish, Welches Fruit snacks, Haribo gummy bears. 🙂

2. Enjoying the beauty of the sun setting behind the mountains here in Tucson.

3. Eating s’mores past 9:00pm because you don’t care about how bad it is for you, and the awesome conversations that ensue after all the sugar and messiness. 😉

4. Having a good cup of tea and reading the good book or any book, snuggled up in a chair.

5. Enjoy sweet desserts (going out to buy a pint of ice cream, having amazing combos that make a really great dessert called a pazookie) laughing together and just enjoying each other’s company for the sake of enjoying them! 😀

5. During the day, going on a hike with friends, taking in the gorgeous scenery, having meaningful conversations and getting a good work out! (even though it is walking at a slow pace … it’s EXERCISE nonetheless)

6. Being able to celebrate birthdays, joke about your age and admit that you’re in your mid-twenties and lovin’ it!!! 😉

7. Sharing a meal (miso soup, sushi, italian, and korean food… etc) and jamming into the Night with a friend. And of course singing songs from the heart and feeling free to not care about what you sound like. 🙂

8. Knowing that I am not a perfect lover of people, and others showing me grace and forgiveness, in spite of how many times I mess up.

9. Having an awesome group of people to work with that want more than be just apart of your “work life” but all your life. The mountain tops & the valleys, and all the rough spots in between.

10. My friend was asking me, how I am doing right now and I was reflecting on this a few days ago. But I think the main reason why this past year and a half has been so great is that the gospel has never been so sweet, since the day I gave my life to Christ. —– Though I don’t think it happens as consistently as it should, I’ve realized how important the gospel is for everyday life. And you may have heard the phrase- ‘preach the gospel to yourself’. But I honestly didn’t think that made much sense when I first heard it. Because I mean, how do you tell yourself something that is so radically different from the way the world thinks, something that your flesh just despises hearing in your fits of anger, anxiousness or self-pity or how do you tell yourself to leave everything in the world behind? And I realize recently that the power of it comes in the normal, daily things in life. As I’ve been in the midst of trying to figure out what I am doing next year, the gospel came like a sweet song in the night, a gift that a loving friend wants to give specifically to me. Telling me simply “be still, child” and know that I am in control. Before the cross, I don’t have to have everything figured out, or show others that I have everything put together. The beauty of the gospel of the cross is that it welcomes exactly those kinds of people. The weary, the broken, the incompetent the mourning, the sick and the outcast – to these Jesus said – “COME to me.” I love thinking in the morning that I can run to the lap of my father and lay all my broken pieces at His feet – and that’s when I experience the gospel. But ISN’T IT SO EASY TO NOT?? I get caught up and distracted in “doing” (even Q.T. ‘s or ‘good things’), and I forget to remember, and simply rest quietly in the arms of my Father. (Isaiah 30:15, depicts this well). The gospel …. yes, is sweet. And though that’s not even coming close to describing it, my hope this year, is to get to taste a little bit more of it’s sweetness each day.

There are my 10 sweet things about my life! (maybe i fudged the # a lil’) I also came to see that what makes life sweet is really not all the desserts and sugar; it’s the people that you share them with. 🙂 I truly thank God for so many of you in my life!

And here are recent pictures of some of them! Enjoy!

Gotta love this girl! 🙂

Present

This semester has gone by so fast. And I can barely believe that we have about 6 weeks left to the semester. I haven’t ever felt like I have run so hard, but at the same time… loved every minute of it. I get to spend my days: meeting up with women, co-leading an upper-class student leadership group, and getting to be in the Word with small groups (which in one case recently is an Investigative bible study with some students!), and organizing fun trips.

I remember in college, I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions with studies and ministry related things. And recently, I realized that this is why I am loving where God has me right now. I get to be focused and be single-minded about something. And being able to give all my attention to it without having to change gears is … refreshing. Last year one of my biggest struggles was seeing this as a ‘job’ rather than a ‘joy’ and though I still think the enemy tries to rob me of JOY, I find that the bigger question this year has been about trusting God about the future. Over the summer when I was in Russia, one of the biggest lessons that He taught me was, how He is a God who has all of our lives set in his hands, He is Potter and I am the clay. John 14:1-6 is the verse that I come back to again and again.

Jesus starts off by saying (v.1) “Do not let your hearts be troubled, trust in God, trust also in me.” – in essence saying ‘don’t worry about thing, like the past’ (two days before I read this I had found out that my car had disappeared while I was in Russia :P) .

Then he says (v.2) “in my Father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, i would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” – here He basically says ‘I got your future with me set,’ and then it goes on and He says I will go ahead of you but come back to take you to be with me.

Then Thomas response is something I find myself doing all the time. (v.5) ‘Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?’ – Translation: ‘Can’t you tell me now?!!!’, ‘where I will go or how I will even get there?’ – I can think this way about my future plans, my relationships or even ministry.

BUT for the first time, I noticed how perfect Jesus’ response was to this question.

Jesus says here (v.6) ‘I am the way, the truth, and the Life…‘ – it spoke to my heart this summer, saying ‘Diana, I AM your direction, your reality, and everything you need on this side of heaven.’ I realized then, that Jesus wanted to be my ‘Present Tense’ answer to my ‘present’ needs. He is I AM. And I found that with the situation with my car this summer He was faithful and it was found in the safest place it could have been in Phoenix (a car in-pound). And the even cooler thing was He paid the way, so it didn’t cost me a cent. 🙂 PG!

Now I am learning how to believe this to be true about my present situations, and I find myself running to His feet more than I think I ever have in my life, because there is so much more to carry on my load this semester, and sometimes even what the future holds is an afterthought.

Also for the first time in my life, I am able to understand a little better what Paul meant when He said

“But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering… I am glad and rejoice with all of you.” – Philip. 2:17

This year has been a JOY, and I love being spent for the things God has me doing right now. Thank you for all your prayers.

I COVET YOUR PRAYERS

1) This Friday -Monday Nov. 7-10th heading down to Puerto Penasco, Mexico with 130 students from ASU & U of A for a service trip.

2) This Road Rally Trip: protection/safety for the weekend; Wisdom as I help co-lead with a sister from ASU, For the people going and the people in Mexico to experience the power of the Gospel

3) For Thursdays at 4pm – Investigative Bible study in the dorm – That those that come will hear and combine what they hear with Faith. Wisdom for those that lead it.

Here are some pictures of some of the girls I meet with at a birthday party and for Halloween. 😉 – Sorry there have been so few. I haven’t had a functional camera all semester.

Callie her joyous self … Ashley & I – ready to FIGHT!

Multicultural

Ever since I came out to Arizona, a few people have asked me: ‘what is cross-cultural ministry like?’ I realized that they maybe assumed this to be true because most of my past experience had been in the Korean church and in an Asian college fellowship. But after experiencing this year and thinking it through, I wanted to clarify that what I am doing is NOT cross-cultural ministry, but rather multiculture ministry. If I were going overseas to a new environment and new culture, and sharing the gospel with people that did not know Jesus Christ, I would say that I am doing cross cultural ministry. However….

… America is a unique place. Many cultures and people of different backgrounds all in one country. Though I am not going to an unreached place, a multicultural ministry has not been without its challenges.

Born in the cornfields of Iowa City and raised near the eastern shores of Virginia, my family and I have made America our home and it’s the only home I’ve ever known. All my life I have considered myself a Korean-American, and at different points of my life wondered: what do I identify with more? My Korean background? or my American background? Here in America some social anthropologists dub us as a “salad blow” of cultures, where we are just mix of many different ethnicities. Others say that we are in a “melting pot” with English being the language of communication. I see how both of these can be true, but after moving away from the familiarity of my home in Richmond, VA to Tucson, AZ , a new and unfamiliar culture, I have begun to really ask the question: Who am I? And the bigger question that is tied into this is … what does God have for me here?

I feel like a fish in a big sea… a diverse one. I am currently serving on Staff at a Navigator campus ministry, which is made up of Caucasian, Spanish-speaking background, Asian and Native American students (placed in descending order of quantity). My staff team though a much smaller scale represents a similar ratio of ethnicities. Some would ask, how does it feel or what is that like? And for a long while I’ve been silent, wanting to put the puzzle together in my own head, and to really speak from my experience here.

One thing I said in my first newsletter home was: coming out to this ministry has been like a “Two-way adoption.” My adopting this ministry as my family and them adopting me. And this is the main reason why I think my situation here is not a cross-cultural ministry. I have come to partner with the existing body of Christ here in Tucson to expand the vision that God has given us collectively. And I think that in some ways this process is still happening and some days are more challenging than others.

And it’s safe to say… it’s been messy, and far from perfect. And honestly, learning how to relate to a new culture and figuring out how you are a part of that bigger picture has been challenging. One thing I’ve had to trust is that if this “unity in the body” thing was a man-made idea, it would fail miserably. But thankfully it is God-inspired. So in my lack of understanding of this topic of unity, I have been in the book of Ephesians frequently trying to find a place to begin praying, and begin understanding God’s view of this diversity found in his body.

I remembered hearing a sermon this summer on unity by a person I well-respect, concerning this topic from the book of Ephesians. The sermon was on Eph. 4:1-16 and the idea that there was “diversity found in Unity” and what we want is “unity, and not uniformity,” caught my attention. Because even though I know that the differences that I experience between the people I know can cause misunderstandings, it is all the more a reality that God has called me to “bear with one another in love.”

I am not certain what other people on my team think about this topic, but on my end this experience in multicultural ministry has pushed me all the more to ask the question “Who am I… in Christ?” And that finding my identity in Him, is more important than me finding life and identity in things that are familiar or my education/career or even what I call my ‘cultural background.’ At times it is the hardest truth to come to grips with because there are times I get frustrated with being misunderstood, not heard, or not known by those around me. But whenever I’ve asked that question: “what am I doing here?’ the constant voice I hear is “follow me.” And the verse in Philippians 2:3-5 comes to mind frequently:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

It came be easy to forget or easy to give into my flesh that I am not out here, building my own kingdom, but His. It is a hard, but a good lesson to relearn. So even though it hasn’t been easy, I have learned that I can “rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God… “(Romans 5:2b-5)
When you think of me: Please pray that I would:

1. Bear with those around me in Love
2. Put others before my self, and follow Christ
3. Unity in our staff team and in this college ministry at the U of A
4. To be Joyful and thankful hearted 😀

New

Couldn’t sleep… so I thought I would finish writing this blog post. It being a week after Easter, I have been thinking about God’s love in my life. And since coming out here to Arizona, I’ve thought more about this topic than I could ever remember. Asking questions like: What has His love set me free from? & What does His love look like?

Looking Back:

I remember my life before I met Christ and I was constantly depressed, angry, self-absorbed and at one point suicidal. I felt trapped by the lie that somehow I had to win the approval of people around me to feel loved. Thinking back on it, it was pretty bleak. Not to mention that on the outside I put on a mask- pretending that everything was “fine” and that I didn’t have a broken relationship with my mother and that on certain days I didn’t want to see the light of day.

“It was for freedom, Christ has set us FREE!” – Galatians 5:1

It was neat getting to share Easter with some of the staff, and after breaking bread, sharing about this topic of what has God set us free from? – looking around I could tell that God had brought each of us a long way. 🙂 I heart you guys!

Why do we celebrate that HE IS RISEN? – Thinking about it a little more this year, I realized that if Christ had not risen, his blood would be on our hands and there would be reason for more wrath. But … He rose! And He is a alive so that we could live with Him in victory over the grave!

What does His Love look like?…

It’s been cool to think that the gospel could be still fresh and still speaking to me today. A few months back, at a retreat, I had asked God the question, what does your love look like? and as I was being distracted as can be the case for me, I realized that the cup of tea that I had just poured my self had a film of dirt floating at the at the top. The cup probably had gathered dust and apparently needed a wash before use… and I have to admit I was irritated.

Funny enough just then, it hit me how ever since being on staff with the Navs its been easy to think that this is my “job” and somehow I have earned my way to be out here. But at also at times feeling anxious, because I felt like there were those expecting me to do this “job” well, which made me feel pressure to perform. But this reality of my heart was, like the cup in my hands – all I had was a pretty nasty tasting, dirt filled cup of tea. And God’s reminded me “For the wages of sin is death, BUT the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 3:23. HE wanted to offer ME, a gift. Not a wage for things that I did or could one day claim to do. For that moment I thought, if God’s love looked like anything. For me, it might look like….

… a New Cup of Tea

Though at times I call this my “job” it is more and more becoming (when He reminds me) instead my “joy” – because this life is not mine to claim or earn. It is by “[His] mercy that we have this ministry.” – 2 Corin. 4:1

Bittersweet

“When I think about love, it reminds me of dark chocolate…

It has been about 5 months since I moved out here to Arizona, feeling called that God led me to this place. Starting full time ministry with the Navigators can be described by no better word than “stretching” – especially in the area of relationships: Learning to “embrace the awakardness”- as you encounter different people from yourself, committing to keep in touch with old friends that are far away, and also finding out that the hardest friendships are the ones God uses to change you the most.

Someone asked me recently “what is your least favorite thing about being on EDGE Corps (Trans. = 1st year staff with Navs.) ?”

I found myself thinking about what I had told people back over winter break. My only answer was: The hardest things have been the best things. And it is still very true of this semester. It seems weird but everything from getting robbed, to being stuck in logistical nightmares, to crying with a student who you can’t do anything for but pray may seem on the outside not very pretty things. And you’re right, I wouldn’t ask for them, because on the one hand they make me feel like I am incompetent. But on the other hand, those things are where I have found God the most. These are the times I saw God’s grace so clearly and the miracles which I can attest to but not take credit for.

Recently I am reminded that the best & the hardest being especially true about relationships with people, because I find that people are normally what make a place either just live-able or truly love-able. There are times when life carries you away from those you care about. And moving away is of course difficult, but then to embrace the newness and all that God has in store for your life is exciting … and necessary.

So all this makes me think of how much I miss my home in Virginia and I often think of those of you with whom I have lost touch. But I hold you in my heart and I know that God is with you as he is here with me.

Happy Valentines All! – This is my love song to Jesus : Psalm 73:23-26

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My heart and my flesh my fail, but God, [you are] the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

… And If I were to say life had a taste, it would be bitter sweet. “

Loss

Things haven’t been easy, but in the midst of all the hard things His Joy has been constant. And when I choose to let it, I see glimpses of it shine in the midst of all the darkness.

The hard reality of where I was living hit us again yesterday when I came home around noon and found my roommates standing outside our house with police cars parked out in front. It was a burglary and the thieves came in the span of the 45 mins that my roommates had been gone to deliver something to a neighbor. They stole 3 labtops and a purse that belonged to my roommate. My labtop was among the ones stolen. :*(

After the initial shock and feeling the need to be home with one another, we girls felt we had a lot to be thankful for. It was definitely a reminder that the things that we own don’t last (pictures, music, papers… etc), and Phil. 3:7 seems more real to me than ever before. And we were also made aware of how blessed we were to have one another unharmed and safe.

Thankfully, the house of guys from our ministry live down the street and came and fixed the door that was busted open. They took a half a day to replace almost the entire door frame, locks and doorbell. Their presence was a blessing and we also felt well taken care of by neighbors and the other staff. – Thank you guys!

It is the weirdest timing, but I was telling Esther the other day that I’ve been able to finding joy again in praising God with the guitar. It’s been over a year since I tasted the sweetness of jamming before the Lord, just him and me. A psalm that continues to be a sweet reminder has been …

“You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday… For He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” -Psalm 91: 8-9, 11

~ Thank you all for your prayers and your concern for me and those here. 🙂

 

Undeserving

So I just got back from a prayer retreat in Pine Valley, CA and it was amAzing, and I wish some others could have joined me. 😦 (the driving was not so fun) But I have to say I’ve never felt the presence of God so sweetly and such openness with a group of almost all strangers. I also had the joy of sharing a place with Ann P.!!! 🙂

Here is a picture of us in our cottage at the conference center. Neither of us expected to be given such a posh place to stay. It was complete with a bedroom, loft area, porch, kitchen, living room and bath. 🙂 We were in awe and didn’t feel like we deserved to stay there, especially since the other housing did not seem to compare.

During the retreat, I continued to be reminded of what God’s love in our lives looks like. It came to my attention that I easily forget the reality that God’s love in my life is a gift. And it almost came like a surprise to me. Like the large cottage that we didn’t do anything to deserve. I find a lot of times to busy dwelling on the thought, “I don’t deserve this nice place,” or not even recognize that “this is a nice place and I’ve been invited to come in.”

I think this can be how I choose not to abide in God’s love. But it was sweet to be reminded that His love can be new and He wants us to enjoy Him in the “newness” of it. And this verse came to mind:

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

Gratitude

The semester is already over, and I can hardly believe it. After a prayer meeting with students, I headed out to Virginia by plane this afternoon, and was looking forward to meeting the family and friends back on the East Coast. But there was a slight change of plans…

Currently, I am still here in Tucson, due to a flight delay that would have made me miss my connecting flight to Richmond. (I am starting to not like airports) The only available flight left 6:00am the next day. Funny enough, “CHANGE OF PLANS” seems to be a reoccurring theme of my year and the way God has shown me his grace through this journey.

A dear friend once told me:

“Expect the unexpected, and in the unexpected, expect to see CHRIST.”

It was a bummer for mechanical errors that caused me to miss my flight home tonight, but I’ve been wanting to update on this blog for a couple weeks now, and it seems like an unplanned evening like this maybe just want I need.

Believe it or not, I am beginning to be glad that our God is full of surprises, because who knows what my life would look like if everything went my way. (yikes!)

So instead of telling you details about my experience of coming and being on staff with the Navigators- in this weird program called EDGE Corps (which I would much rather share face to face) I’ll share a few things that God unexpectedly work through that I’ve cherished.

Story 1: Getting Here
Not many people know this, but when I had found out where I was assigned to come do full-time campus ministry, I was somewhat shocked at how far it was, and in my heart decided not to go to Arizona. I was subconsciously thinking “I am needed here”, “I can stay at UVA and still do God’s work.” So even after I talked to Lori, a women-staffer, and Bryce, the director of U of A Navigators, over the phone I was resolute about this “wise” decision. If you’ve ever had a time when you ran the other direction because of a fear of the unknown, or because of a desire to cling to what is you can see & what is familiar, than you know what I mean. A lot of times, when this happens, a classmate describe it once to be like: “you’re eyes are looking at God saying “yeah, I trust you” but your hands are at the side working ferociously to do it on your own.” <- Me

Well, one of the staff that I talked to asked if they could pray for me at the end of our convo about the ministry and what I was thinking, and (God would have it) in their prayer they said “a man’s heart is deep waters, but a wise man draws it out” -Prov. 20:5 and prayed that this promise would be true. And though I ended up sending an email the next day that said -no, I am NOT doing EDGE Corps anymore, by the end of the day the prayer said the previous night came true. That Sunday near the end of May, three very dear people in my life spoke truth to me and encouraged me to to make a wise decision. And that day, as I spent time in prayer for the first time since I decided to change my mind, I realized… that of the three things I prayed for what my year after college would be like were answered in going to the ministry at U of Arizona and God was being faithful.

~ Through this I learned that I was blessed with people that love me, even to the point of seeing me go somewhere far away, knowing it would not be easy (for both sides). Also I realized why God spoke in the Word about having godly counsel (Prov. 20:5) in our lives and learning to trust these people. And lastly, He is Jehovah Jirah (God the Provider) and I am here in Arizona on account of His mercy and the graciousness of people who were willing to send me.

Story 2: Mishaps Galor
The last full week of the month of October was… rough. In the span of less than a week… (& there were more than these 3)

1) After a campus-wide prayer meeting on Tuesday morning, I ran into a truck and dented it, while backing out of the parking lot . And a week prior, I remember it was getting to my head the thinking that I was a good driver. (it cost me a couple hundred dollars… “sad” )

2) Thursday, 3:30AM there is a knock on our door, and a nice policeman told my roommates (- who answered the door, meanwhile I was asleep, not stirred by the commotion) that a blue Volvo in front of our house was vandalized and items in the car were stolen. Waking up, I was half grouchy and dazed, but I found out quickly that it was my car’s front driver-side window that was shattered and my CD player and CD’s were stolen.

3) 9:00AM that same day, I was walking over with my roommate to help out at our director’s house (something we do weekly) and halfway there… my JCrew black sandal decides to break. That was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. There was so much build up of stupid & crazy things happening that week, that I didn’t know what to do. So I couldn’t help myself… I had to laugh & shake my head (humbly realizing ~ “I’m not in control”)

~ Interestingly, I had been asking people to pray that God would stretch me and also bring more Unity to my team. And though it sounds crazy, these events were the mysterious way that God wanted to accomplish this. Through me having my car broken into, I got the opportunity to bond with my roommate, who I hadn’t gotten much chance to talk deeply with yet. (the performance mode in me and the stress/intensity of the job kept us from really connecting) Robin, my roommate, had her car broken into the same way 4 days earlier but had it fixed, so inevitably we had to spend time in the car together and in that time got to be real and shared about how tough this job really was. And at the end of the day we decided to change the set up of our room, which was oddly the most refreshing thing I think I ever did! 🙂

Roommates 🙂 – She is a gift

On this journey so far I’ve found it so interesting that when you ask for something, God does hear it. In the present circumstances it never seems like this is true, but His plan to answer prayers are always BETTER than the way that I think that they should be answered. And especially better timed. 😉

Story 3: Now
So even though I did not plan to be here tonight, it’s much better this way. Especially, since the events of the day have inspired me to write this blog. And unexpectedly I got the chance to go make dinner with some of the girls from my bible study in their dorm. And it was such a great time! We ate well and got to talk with some people the just came in to use the kitchen. And I had wanted to hang out with them this Thursday, and didn’t get to. 🙂 Here’s a picture of most of the girls in the Freshman study I led this semester (minus 1).

Most of the Bible Study

~ “Thank you Jesus, for being the One in control. In the midst of the craziness and the hard stuff, you are working out your better plan. So I just want to praise you for working out Your good in me, even though I can’t see it at first.”

Contrast

Contrast

Tucson is quite different from the cities I’ve lived in on the East Coast. There aren’t seasons and the beach within a couple hours drive ( I think I miss the fall season the most 😦 particularly the leaves). But there is something enchanting about the desert that puts you in awe. The land here can be flat for miles, but inescapable is also the view of mountain ranges that surround almost the entire city.

Now that the monsoon season is over, there are cloudless skies on most days and the sun literally beats down on you when you are exposed to its rays. It is true that the temperature is about 10 degrees cooler in the shade than in the direct sun. It takes time to get use to, but even the people of Arizona (with exception of the Northern Navajo area) choose not to change their clocks for daylight savings because they don’t feel the need for an extra hour of sunlight. 😉

A beautiful sunset in Tucson :O ( view from “A” mountain – really a hill )

But much like the sun that pierces the darkness and makes things seen, I am learning how our God is “One that sees.” To wrap my mind around the reality that He knows all my past, my present thoughts, my hearts’ desires and even the future that has yet to come has been comforting in such a new place. (Psalm 139) To be known and loved I believe are probably a desire within every person’s heart. And it is amazing to rediscover that God is one that fulfills that need of ours.

One of the most difficult struggles for me has been the colliding of life and ministry. It has had its joys and sorrows and this new stage of “life as ministry” has humbled me and made me aware of how I can be performance oriented. But by grace, this new awareness is making me depended on Him more and how I have a daily need for the gospel spoken into my life… my life is by His mercy. In the midst of this, the lines of the following song has been repeating in my mind.

Your Love is… “Deeper than my view of Grace, Higher than this worldly place, Longer than this road I travel, Wider than the gap you filled.”

Praise God that He is Sovereign! And that He lovingly disciplines. 🙂 I am in awe of all the dimensions than He is at work are beyond levels that we can comprehend.

Thank you for your prayers~