EL ROI “the God who sees me”

“Lord, I praise you, for you know the whole story. From beginning to end, you see it all. Give me the humility to admit my limitations. For I don’t always see the past accurately, my vision for the present is often blurred, and I am blind when it comes to the future. Help me fasten my eyes on you, trusting in your vision for my life and in your watchful care.” – Ann Spangler

~ I think when we realize we don’t have the power to author our days, we can finally stop and be still. And know that there is a God who is above all things, and one who has a bigger picture than we can see.

I’m realizing, how near-sighted I really am…
A verse that has been the theme of my last year and summer:
“There is not wisdom, no insight, no plan, that can succeed against the Lord.” – Proverbs 21:30
~ humbling, yet comforting. a familiar place lately.

learning to fasten my eyes on the One who (really) SEES.


a lesson on “pointing”

It has been a while and there’s lots to share … after moving from Tucson to San Diego, starting a new job, finding new community, and settling in. But to share a snippet: Less than a week ago my roommates and I finished painting the living room of our apartment! And this lately rainy yet new place… is just starting to feel like home. (pictures to come)

I am now at UCSD working with students here with the Navigators. And the transitions have had it’s ups and downs but all in all I’ve concluded that where the Lord has wanted me is simply…  sitting at His feet and listening. As I was preparing for a bible study for some of the women, I stumbled upon a simple picture of discipleship … and I thought I’d share.                                                  We are going through the book of John this quarter and in…

John 1

The APOSTLE John begins by giving an introduction that describes Jesus as the SON of GOD. (and my further explanation of it wouldn’t do it justice) And the next portion after vs. 18 is what caught my attention.

The testimony of John the Baptist is what is explained next.  And what is mentioned about John is really enlightening, because he is a man who knows who he IS and who he IS NOT. And the following thoughts are on: what did John the Baptist know? and the things I didn’t really start to know until I pulled this passage apart.


In verse 20 -21 He confessed freely that “I am NOT the CHRIST.”…. [When asked] “Are you the Prophet” – He answered “NO.” (emphasis added) When he was asked then “who are you?” He replies in the words of Isaiah 40:3. “… I have come to “make straight the way for the Lord.” ~ I pictured like crowds that part like the sea when a king or celebrity makes an entrance is what he meant.  The tone of John’s life from the beginning to end was to “make room” or to “make a way for” Jesus.  What humility and confidence… it makes me think, who was John looking at as an example?


In verse 29 when John the Baptist saw Jesus from a distance he said “LOOK, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” John the Baptist POINTS out Jesus, and TESTIFIES to WHO JESUS IS: the SON of GOD (v. 34).

In verse 35 it says “the next day John was there again with two of His disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “LOOK the Lamb of God.” Though this wasn’t in his own power, John’s testimony moved the two disciples to drop everything and follow Jesus. ~BUT it took FAITH on John’s part to POINT and Trust God with the Response of these disciples. Which by the way looked crazy — because any leader would want people to keep following him… but here, John was giving away his flock to someone else.  Some would think — Is John an idiot?


I love this next interaction because then: Jesus turns around and asks “What do you want?” and the disciples reply “Rabbi, where are you staying?” ~ though I probably would not have responded in this way, I want to speculate that — the disciples’ response was basically “Jesus, we want to be where you are/ we want to dwell with you.” (i.e. become HIS disciple and no longer John’s) And Jesus’ response to them is an invitation “Come, and you will see.” What I found neat was: these disciples did not get a direct answer, but their response required FAITH and OBEDIENCE.  [side note: And we know that this simple response to Jesus allowed them to later change the face of the world with the Message they carried of Jesus’ death and resurrection. ]

After a day with Jesus,  The FIRST thing Andrew (one of the two disciples of John) did was find his brother Simon Peter and tell him “We have found the Messiah (that is the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus. ” (v.40-42) ~ the person of JESUS, after Andrew witnessed Him for himself, caused Andrew to turn around and do as John the Baptist had done. Testify about JESUS. I thought wow, this pointing-to-Jesus-thing is kind of contagious.  🙂


Some people point with their fingers, or with their whole hand, or with a simple nod, and still others even point with their lips. But I hope like John the Baptist that with my life: I am POINTING others to Jesus. And if I have done anything right in my life, it would be that in the end I had done this. Because even with my words not being heard, or confused or even thought very insightful, I know always that JESUS SPEAKS.  And as John the Baptist testified: He has been “the Answer” since the beginning of time.

Mm mm… humidity

Being back in Virginia for the summer has been nostalgic. Compared to the dry heat of Arizona, I describe this hot air as almost being chewable. Seriously, it’s that thick. But I’ve missed it! Being hit with the sweltering summer air, has brought back memories of really great times spent in swimming pools and water parks. ^^

I started off the summer in Richmond with my brother’s wedding reception. And I can now say it really feels as though I have a SISTER! ^^ crazy! & pretty sweet! It was really good having both of them here, though the time was short. They are both amazing cooks, so I was well fed and loved getting to enjoy their company. … But it is sort of weird…  My brother is married! And  it still is a thought that may come as a shock to me and others,  due to his childlike persona and/or his goofy side that I can’t dissociate with my brother. It’s definitely a change.  I have always heard in Asian cultures that, in your parent’s eyes, you don’t stop being children until you’re married. And now that he has left, the house does feel emptier. Even more so than when he left for college a year before I did.  And the feeling/ “puhoo nee gee” (in korean) in the house from my parents and other family is very much like “HE’S really  GONE?” … ::sigh::  But as I know this,  I am very happy for him. And I’m confident that he will be well taken care of by his new bride. 😉  (miss you guys lotz!)

Their  sideshow! — a beautiful Chicago wedding.  kurodablog.com/wedding/davidandlisa

Like experiencing the very different weather climate of VA, I think changing environments are something that I am learning to take into stride in this season of life. Being in Virginia for the summer, moving out to San Diego in the fall and starting up a new life in a new place.  Makes me ask the question…  how does one move forward? especially without forgetting and loving the people where you were before?  I think this humidity that is hard to swallow feels similar to the present “changes” that have been initially hard to digest. I’ve never been good with change… 😦

I wish I had something to share that I have experienced in overcoming these changes. But this is where I am at the present. And who ever said change was easy or pleasant? But in conclusion,  trying to take a lesson from this humidity (that’s growing on me… again)  I’m seeing that the uncertainty of the unfamiliar is a thing to be embraced and often it is only when one looks back that one sees what was truly amazing in what was experienced. … so till then.  tchua!

Some recent “loves”

2 year old Daniel praying along with everyone midway through his meal. 🙂

4th Ave’s  Cafe Zope. Our local Creperie, with real french crepes! You can special order. My favorite Savory Crepe seen above: Chicken, pesto, brie, tomatoes and spinach along with a balsamic spinach salad and creamy mushroom sauce (only if requested).  Yum!

My favorite season in the desert…  SPRING! This friends  is the desert in bloom.  Love it! More to come…

This semester we did a study on “Pictures of Biblical Womanhood” These were some of our faithful women. Miss you all!

Come, as you are

There are very few songs that I think can capture what it’s like coming into the gracious presence of our King. This I believe would be one of them. 🙂  even better with the music.

YOU COME AS YOU ARE by Watermark

I lay me down at Your feet my Jesus
Find me here with a heart that’s pure
I am raised up in the love You pour on me
The moment I believe…

I lay me down at Your feet my Jesus
Find me here with a life like Yours
I am raised up in pow’r that sets me free
The moment I believe
The moment I believe

You come as You are
And I come as I am
And grace covers shame
You come in Your pow’r
And I bow down
And grace covers shame
You come like a flood and I’m lost in this “Hallelujah!”
You come as You are and I come as I am
And grace covers all of me… All of me…

I lay me down at Your feet my Master
Find me here with the grace to know
That I am raised up in the perfect love of God
The moment I believe
The moment I believe


I am laid broken
Lord I am open
Breathe in me
And this by design
Is Your life divine
Living in me…
You come as You are…
I come as I am
You come in Your power
And I bow down

In the World

I don’t write poems very often, but I’ve found them to be a great way to try and express myself. In the past couple months I’ve found myself writing a few. So I thought I’d share one. 🙂

So on the subject of living in the world… Since college I have found myself always in a quandary concerning this topic. But again and again, I’ve found no better example than our Lord Jesus.

So…  a short poem on my oh so truncated meditations:


Living in the world, but

Teaching attachment to Himself.

Living for another Kingdom, but

Teaching to love others before self.

Once a King on His throne

Became a helpless babe.

Came to die, and die alone

Teaching to give your life away.

<Thoughts from John 15:13, Study in Mark>

(dedicated to Robert Park, a fellow Tucsonian, still in North Korea)


Life = Jesus (one thing) according to John 14:6

Thanking God for my time here in the desert. 🙂


July 2018
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