“Lord, I praise you, for you know the whole story. From beginning to end, you see it all. Give me the humility to admit my limitations. For I don’t always see the past accurately, my vision for the present is often blurred, and I am blind when it comes to the future. Help me fasten my eyes on you, trusting in your vision for my life and in your watchful care.” – Ann Spangler

~ I think when we realize we don’t have the power to author our days, we can finally stop and be still. And know that there is a God who is above all things, and one who has a bigger picture than we can see.

I’m realizing, how near-sighted I really am…
A verse that has been the theme of my last year and summer:
“There is not wisdom, no insight, no plan, that can succeed against the Lord.” – Proverbs 21:30
~ humbling, yet comforting. a familiar place lately.

learning to fasten my eyes on the One who (really) SEES.

I am now at UCSD working with students here with the Navigators. And the transitions have had it’s ups and downs but all in all I’ve concluded that where the Lord has wanted me is simply…  sitting at His feet and listening. As I was preparing for a bible study for some of the women, I stumbled upon a simple picture of discipleship … and I thought I’d share.                                                  We are going through the book of John this quarter and in…

John 1

The APOSTLE John begins by giving an introduction that describes Jesus as the SON of GOD. (and my further explanation of it wouldn’t do it justice) And the next portion after vs. 18 is what caught my attention.

The testimony of John the Baptist is what is explained next.  And what is mentioned about John is really enlightening, because he is a man who knows who he IS and who he IS NOT. And the following thoughts are on: what did John the Baptist know? and the things I didn’t really start to know until I pulled this passage apart.

I. WHO WE ARE & ARE NOT

In verse 20 -21 He confessed freely that “I am NOT the CHRIST.”…. [When asked] “Are you the Prophet” – He answered “NO.” (emphasis added) When he was asked then “who are you?” He replies in the words of Isaiah 40:3. “… I have come to “make straight the way for the Lord.” ~ I pictured like crowds that part like the sea when a king or celebrity makes an entrance is what he meant.  The tone of John’s life from the beginning to end was to “make room” or to “make a way for” Jesus.  What humility and confidence… it makes me think, who was John looking at as an example?

II. WHO JESUS IS:

In verse 29 when John the Baptist saw Jesus from a distance he said “LOOK, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” John the Baptist POINTS out Jesus, and TESTIFIES to WHO JESUS IS: the SON of GOD (v. 34).

In verse 35 it says “the next day John was there again with two of His disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “LOOK the Lamb of God.” Though this wasn’t in his own power, John’s testimony moved the two disciples to drop everything and follow Jesus. ~BUT it took FAITH on John’s part to POINT and Trust God with the Response of these disciples. Which by the way looked crazy — because any leader would want people to keep following him… but here, John was giving away his flock to someone else.  Some would think — Is John an idiot?

III. WHO WE WANT OTHERS TO BE:

I love this next interaction because then: Jesus turns around and asks “What do you want?” and the disciples reply “Rabbi, where are you staying?” ~ though I probably would not have responded in this way, I want to speculate that — the disciples’ response was basically “Jesus, we want to be where you are/ we want to dwell with you.” (i.e. become HIS disciple and no longer John’s) And Jesus’ response to them is an invitation “Come, and you will see.” What I found neat was: these disciples did not get a direct answer, but their response required FAITH and OBEDIENCE.  [side note: And we know that this simple response to Jesus allowed them to later change the face of the world with the Message they carried of Jesus' death and resurrection. ]

After a day with Jesus,  The FIRST thing Andrew (one of the two disciples of John) did was find his brother Simon Peter and tell him “We have found the Messiah (that is the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus. ” (v.40-42) ~ the person of JESUS, after Andrew witnessed Him for himself, caused Andrew to turn around and do as John the Baptist had done. Testify about JESUS. I thought wow, this pointing-to-Jesus-thing is kind of contagious. 

MY “TAKE AWAY”:

Some people point with their fingers, or with their whole hand, or with a simple nod, and still others even point with their lips. But I hope like John the Baptist that with my life: I am POINTING others to Jesus. And if I have done anything right in my life, it would be that in the end I had done this. Because even with my words not being heard, or confused or even thought very insightful, I know always that JESUS SPEAKS.  And as John the Baptist testified: He has been “the Answer” since the beginning of time.

I started off the summer in Richmond with my brother’s wedding reception. And I can now say it really feels as though I have a SISTER! ^^ crazy! & pretty sweet! It was really good having both of them here, though the time was short. They are both amazing cooks, so I was well fed and loved getting to enjoy their company. … But it is sort of weird…  My brother is married! And  it still is a thought that may come as a shock to me and others,  due to his childlike persona and/or his goofy side that I can’t dissociate with my brother. It’s definitely a change.  I have always heard in Asian cultures that, in your parent’s eyes, you don’t stop being children until you’re married. And now that he has left, the house does feel emptier. Even more so than when he left for college a year before I did.  And the feeling/ “puhoo nee gee” (in korean) in the house from my parents and other family is very much like “HE’S really  GONE?” … ::sigh::  But as I know this,  I am very happy for him. And I’m confident that he will be well taken care of by his new bride.   (miss you guys lotz!)

Their  sideshow! — a beautiful Chicago wedding.  kurodablog.com/wedding/davidandlisa

Like experiencing the very different weather climate of VA, I think changing environments are something that I am learning to take into stride in this season of life. Being in Virginia for the summer, moving out to San Diego in the fall and starting up a new life in a new place.  Makes me ask the question…  how does one move forward? especially without forgetting and loving the people where you were before?  I think this humidity that is hard to swallow feels similar to the present “changes” that have been initially hard to digest. I’ve never been good with change…

I wish I had something to share that I have experienced in overcoming these changes. But this is where I am at the present. And who ever said change was easy or pleasant? But in conclusion,  trying to take a lesson from this humidity (that’s growing on me… again)  I’m seeing that the uncertainty of the unfamiliar is a thing to be embraced and often it is only when one looks back that one sees what was truly amazing in what was experienced. … so till then.  tchua!

4th Ave’s  Cafe Zope. Our local Creperie, with real french crepes! You can special order. My favorite Savory Crepe seen above: Chicken, pesto, brie, tomatoes and spinach along with a balsamic spinach salad and creamy mushroom sauce (only if requested).  Yum!

My favorite season in the desert…  SPRING! This friends  is the desert in bloom.  Love it! More to come…

This semester we did a study on “Pictures of Biblical Womanhood” These were some of our faithful women. Miss you all!

YOU COME AS YOU ARE by Watermark

I lay me down at Your feet my Jesus
Find me here with a heart that’s pure
I am raised up in the love You pour on me
The moment I believe…

I lay me down at Your feet my Jesus
Find me here with a life like Yours
I am raised up in pow’r that sets me free
The moment I believe
The moment I believe

Chorus:
You come as You are
And I come as I am
And grace covers shame
You come in Your pow’r
And I bow down
And grace covers shame
You come like a flood and I’m lost in this “Hallelujah!”
You come as You are and I come as I am
And grace covers all of me… All of me…

I lay me down at Your feet my Master
Find me here with the grace to know
That I am raised up in the perfect love of God
The moment I believe
The moment I believe

Chorus

Bridge:
I am laid broken
Lord I am open
Breathe in me
And this by design
Is Your life divine
Living in me…
You come as You are…
I come as I am
You come in Your power
And I bow down

So on the subject of living in the world… Since college I have found myself always in a quandary concerning this topic. But again and again, I’ve found no better example than our Lord Jesus.

So…  a short poem on my oh so truncated meditations:

Jesus

Living in the world, but

Teaching attachment to Himself.

Living for another Kingdom, but

Teaching to love others before self.

Once a King on His throne

Became a helpless babe.

Came to die, and die alone

Teaching to give your life away.

<Thoughts from John 15:13, Study in Mark>

(dedicated to Robert Park, a fellow Tucsonian, still in North Korea)

Thanking God for my time here in the desert.

I met an older gray haired gentleman who looked like a waiter at the Library today (yes, this Inn has a library!… ).  He urged me to take part in the afternoon tea they were having. I declined, seeing the sign that this was for house guests. I mentioned that I wasn’t as guest at the Inn, but still he was very welcoming and showed me a short tour of the front of the Inn. He went on to tell me more history about how this Inn has been passed down generations in the Greenway family and coming back to the library again asked if I would partake in tea. Looking around there was only one other person in the room and before me was an exquisite assortment of delicious snacks, tea and coffee , so I gratefully obliged (little did he know that tea is a love language of mine).  But what was interesting to me was how this man talked so highly about the owner, his boss (the granddaughter of Mrs. Greenway). He also shared a love for her Inn (that his mother took him to as a child) and the way he served, addressed each person that came by and made the place feel like a home. And aside from doing his job well, I could tell that he really enjoyed it.

I  thought… this man could easily not enjoy his job. Especially with not many people coming around. Not that this couldn’t be a fun job… but I found that he genuinely enjoyed it. And from what I could gather, he enjoyed it because of the person for whom he worked.

I recall a friend telling me “Jesus is my boss.” Something his mom reminded him of as he works as a free lance consultant.  And I thought… this is true. And no matter what line of work whether its studies, an office job, teaching or ministry we have an Ultimate Boss. Of course it can be easier if your boss is Christ-like, but that’s just an added bonus.

Similarly, I remember a quote from a book called “Discipline: The glad surrender” and in one chapter it  says…

” There is no such thing as Christian work. That is, there is no work in the world which is, in and of itself, Christian. Christian work is any kind of work, from cleaning a sewer to preaching a sermon, that is done by a Christian and offered to God.” – Elizabeth Elliot

I had a birthday and a funeral right next to each other this year. I would’ve never wished this, but that’s what happened. Two Sundays ago was my 25th birthday. And by God’s provision, on Monday & Tuesday I was able to attend my close friend’s mother’s funeral.

I left to go be with this friend, Esther (who is literally like a sister to me) on that Sunday, after hearing about her mother’s passing. And even as I received birthday wishes, thoughts of its importance seemed to just fade in the background.  Instead,  thoughts of worry and insecurity like…  “how is Esther doing?” , “how is her family?”,  “how could I help?” and other thoughts seem to cloud my mind and emotions. And again, it’s not because I’m a saint, but I also realized that grief can be a much stronger emotion than happiness. And for some reason, Sunday wasn’t a time to be happy.  Esther’s father who is a pastor, felt called to start a church in downtown LA with his family two years ago, their life of  ministry, which is true of most of their lives, has been spent, away from their immediate and extended family. Because they were not there,  it seemed like by me being present, I was making a sacrifice. However, others and I would agree that we walked away feeling like it was a privilege to be there at all.

It was a blessing to get to stay with her family and see the heart of thankfulness that they had, in spite of their loss. Her mom had been battling cancer since last November, and the timing of her death, though sudden, seemed as they saw it, to be perfectly in God’s hands.  Being able to comfort the hundreds that came, mourning the loss of their mother and at times crying with them was no easy thing. Also at the time, it made me think…

“There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven: A time to be born and a time to die… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”   – Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

But what was even more surprising, was after the funeral was over, I was blessed (and because I’m Korean I resisted this at first) with an intimate celebration of my birthday in the very house where we mourned earlier that day. The celebration seemed so natural, and without a doubt … genuine. There was now peace in that house where Esther’s mom had gone, and I tangibly felt it through the Christ-like love that Esther’s mom taught her family. Because Manny, Esther and her dad continued to pour it out to others around them.

These, in short, were my thoughts coming away from this time…

Outlining this time of grieving, was a sense of celebrating … a life well lived and one set free; … and then a life that at a quarter century began with renewed hope for more. Though the latter seemed much less significant… it left me with the gift to think…  How will I now Live?

Thank you, Mrs. Lim, for the gift of your life and the many that you have impacted. You have left a legacy.

Currently, I am wishing I could be there right now. My parents are there on medical missions until Aug. 24th.  I would like to go… maybe one day.  Please be praying for my parents, when you think of them.

THINGS YOU COULD PRAY:

- clear communication.

- that they would be a refreshing presence and support to the missionaries and the local hospital doctors.

- for strength and joy.

- vision to see the needs and to see God and work along side Him.

thanks in advance.